It Was There All Along

you had the power all along

I made the decision to home educate my oldest son shortly after enrolling him for kindergarten. Sometimes making the wrong choice clears the way for the right choice. Or perhaps, as I’ve been told, I just like learning things the hard way.

The choice to home educate was a solitary decision, much like the situation for those seeking sobriety. It reminded me of one of my father’s infamous recovery quotes,


“If you want to know who your true friends are, get sober.”

Except for me it was,

“If you want to know who your true friends are, home educate your kids.”

As if venturing into this new territory wasn’t terrifying enough, the pressure of having to reconcile this new lifestyle with the rest of the world was enough to drive me to drinking. Before I even began the home educating journey, people were predicting my relapse.

In fact, more people were counting on my failure than my success. Some people were even kind enough to keep those thoughts to themselves. With what I’m sure hoping were good intentions, the odds were stacked against me. Not to mention my own fear that maybe I was just gearing up to learn another lesson the hard way.

I started anyways.

In its earliest form, courage isn’t easily recognized. It looks a lot like an awkward rap battle between fearfulness and foolishness, and makes life feel as uncomfortable as such a stand-off would sound. It goes mostly unnoticed (and unappreciated) until its more impressive fully-grown state, when it starts to bear fruit. But the truth is, it was there all along.


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