Trauma Queen

To not have your suffering recognized is an almost unbearable form of violence.I don’t remember how long I was locked inside our backyard garden shed. I do remember the darkness inside didn’t make the summer sun outside feel any cooler. I remember the air filling my lungs felt as thick as the engine sledge it smelled like. I remember being scared, but not being afraid to die.

It wasn’t the first time I felt that way, and it wasn’t the last.

You know, you’re not the only one who had a difficult childhood. At least you didn’t die.”

I don’t understand why you’re so anxious. I think it’s all in your head.”

I think you’re just being over-dramatic.”

It’s true that other people have suffered even worse childhood experiences than mine. I just need to get over it. I should be grateful I’m alive.

Something must be wrong with me, just like I suspected.

They’re right. I’ll just keep things to myself. I don’t want to bother anyone.

I don’t remember how many people I shared my story with before I understood that I was better off locked inside that shed. I do remember learning that the darkness inside that shed couldn’t compare to the darkness on the outside. I remember the words filling my mind weighing more than the burdens on my heart. I remember feeling scarred, but not afraid to heal.

It wasn’t the first time I felt that way, and it wasn’t the last.

 

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If you’re someone who feels unseen and unheard in your suffering. You’re not alone.

Your story matters. Don’t leave it untold, but don’t trust it with just anyone.

The ideal audience isn’t anyone who listens, it’s someone who cares.

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To share on social media, use the handy-dandy buttons below. Thanks for reading and thanks for sharing! 🙂

 

8 thoughts on “Trauma Queen

    1. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. And for the virtual hugs. 🙂 I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am for my healing journey so far. Life is pretty darn incredible.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Sharann, this is truly a haunting short part of your life which could be the beginning of a memoir! Blessings sent your direction from me to you. Take care and hope to become better acquainted. . . Robin

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Sharann for sharing your story. Anxiety is so terribly misunderstood but I find the more I talk about my own story, the more I learn how many others have a story too.

    I’m looking forward to your posts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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